Alright, I just finished watching the third Twilight Movie: Eclipse. And the trailers are right – it is much better than the other three movies.
And Despite my misgivings for the third book, I ended up enjoying the third Twilight Movie quite a bit. (And I wasn’t the only one if all the people laughing and clapping in the theatre was any indication…)
Jacob’s still awesome, they play up the tension between him and Edward well and Officer Swan is still hilarious. I laughed at the jokes, and well. I think I’m pretty much doomed and may actually be a Twilight fan.
But all was not glory – there was a few issues. The cinematography was much better in the second film by far and this movie tended to suffer from soap opera face ups. I think they may have over used this particular film technique.
Second, the first hour was rather choppy and for once I’m glad I read the book BEFORE the movie – if only to fill in all the gaps. Eclipse tried to fit too much in and give everyone their little moment of backstory. Sadly this leaves most of them cut a little short (and I’m still angry we didn’t get a full body shot of Rosalie in her wedding dress!!! She wore it, too. It’s insulting we only got to see her from the shoulders up.) I think this is the one time where it’s handy the book filled every thing in with more detail.
Overall though, not many complaints. It was two glorious hours of man-law. Edward vs Jacob. It was wonderful and even the guys in the theatre were laughing at the machismo dripping from the two of them as they fought over Bella.
Anyway, I enjoyed it and I’m looking forward to the two-part Break Dawn films. (Which I’m half-way through reading! Progress!)
Alright, let’s start off with a little background before getting to the movie.
Some Background
Once upon a time, I saw a trailer for a movie. And in that movie, I saw Rorschach deliver the line “Why are you screaming? I haven’t even cut you yet.” and I went – I must see this movie. So, I prepped. I realized that it wasn’t fair to see a remake of a movie series I hadn’t seen. So I asked Mike to lend me the Nightmare films & I systematically watched the other 8 films in the series. And I loved them.
I am not a huge fan of the horror genre. I have no intention of ever seeing a Friday the 13th Movie (the closest I’ve gotten was Freddy vs Jason) because I don’t want to see gratuitous sex, nudity and violence. For this same reason I’m probably never going to see any Saw films or Texas Massacre films or what have you. The Krueger films – they don’t have these. I think the worst thing in these films has been a breast shot sprinkled here and there, but for the most part the films have been fairly tame. (With a notable exception of the 5th Film where a couple of the deaths passed into just disgusting and as such this is my least favorite of the franchise).
So why enjoy the films? Freddy Kreuger & his kids.1 These aren’t so much horror films as they are dark action flicks. The big bad monster hunts down the kids and they fight back. I don’t think I’ve ever found the Krueger films to be particularly scary, even the first one, but more so visually attractive and attention grabbing. These films don’t have to figure out the most gruesome way to kill someone to freak out the audience2
On that note – I still maintain that Tina’s death in the first film was by far the worst death in the series for emotional impact and horror. It wasn’t grotesque or over the top – there was a realism to it that hit you close because you watched a girl be beat to death and dragged across a ceiling. It was other worldly while still being realistic and I think that’s the most disturbing part.
But – we’re here to talk about the 2010 Remake that made me want to get into this franchise in the first place.
The Theatre
I sort of want to talk about my experience in the theatre itself first. I went to go see a 12AM Matinee of this film. As such, there was maybe 10 people in the largest screening room in the building. There were about 6 guys all by their lonesome speckled about the theatre, me and 3 teens who wandered in after the previews (who talked for most of the movie…). It was sort of interesting; it’s been a while since I got to sit in a premium spot in a theatre walking it at the start of the film. XD
It’s also fun to note that I had my ID checked to get into the theatre. On the one hand – I’m sort of flattered. On the other…I’m 25. XD
The Movie – Their be SPOILERS here. Enter at your own risk.
Nancy is a regular teen who stepped up to the plate and fought back. Jesse had Freddy possessing him and fought back and broke free. Kristen fights back and frees her friends. Alice had enough and kicked Freddie’s tail, twice. Katherine? She tells Daddy where he can shove it. And of course Krueger himself who always comes back with a smile on his face and a joke on his lips as he reminds the kids whose in charge.↩
At the start anyway, after the first movie they definitely started reaching for more stomach churning deaths.↩
Alright, let’s see how I do reviewing Book 2. For once I’m not writing this immediately after finishing the book so my thoughts are a tad less organized. But here we go -
The Book
Better than the first one.
Now granted, New Moon had it’s head banging moments and horrible scenes. But it had one or two good scenes and I actually enjoyed reading about Jacob & the Werewolf crew. So not a total loss. I think part of that is the fact Edward was missing for over half the book.
Edward alone I can handle.
Bella alone is almost tolerable.
Bella & Edward together gets near unbearable. I can’t even really put it into words but them together is some of the most unbelievable stuff I’ve ever read. It just pushes my suspense of belief out the window. Maybe it’ because I’ve never been in love or seen anyone in real life act like this. But the sheer level of obsession these two have with each other can not be healthy. It just can’t.
People date, they break up, they move on. Sometimes it’s harder than others – I realize that. I believe in love. But this sort of love that they describe almost has no basis. Why do they love each other? What really caused Bella to be near Catatonic for months? As far as I could tell the only thing Edward did (other than the save her life thing – which isn’t really a basis for a romance…) was be mean to her and mention she smelled really really good.
]Though, in New Moon towards the end, Bella refuses to believe Edward could love her so I ended up reading a page of Edward declaring why he loves Bella and I stared at the page – when did she show any of those behaviors? It was like he was describing a different person. I, it was just odd.
But I’ll move on. It’s almost baffling and I’m not sure I could keep up with it.
Let’s talk about things I liked instead. Because admitting there are things I liked in this book are good. I could go on forever about how Bella’s a selfish idiot (Her Vote to become a vampire? No. Just. No.) So let’s talk about good things:
Aro – I loved Aro. This is a vampire. He’s a total monster who still manages to be bright and cheery and keep his manners like a real gentleman. There’s a charisma there that I didn’t expect to find in this book.
Jacob – I’ve already stated he’s the only person in the book who not only seems believable but sympathetic. Plus, werewolves are cool. And her recreation of the classic myth for them isn’t nearly as intolerable as say, the sparkling.
And…that’s all that comes to mind at the moment. Overall, save for a few frustrating moments with Bella & Edward, I liked it.
Which brings me to -
The Movie
I’ve admitted it before and I’ll admit it again. I liked the New Moon Movie. There! I said it.
The directing was 100x improved and it was obvious with the new cinematography and pacing. It featured Jacob (one of the few who could act) and dare I say it – Jacob and Bella actually had chemistry on scene. I was actually drawn in a few times as they interacted.
Plus? I actually laughed when the joke was intentional. I can’t say that about the first movie (save for her dad pulling out the shot gun – that’s always gold.).
But yeah. Not many complaints about the movie, actually. Aside from the plot but that can’t be helped sometimes.
“I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.”
-Edward Cullen, Twilight
I think the above quote summarizes my jump into Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. I’m not actually sure what to quite think about this first book and will probably discuss it by just writing what comes to mind as I just finished reading the thing a few moments ago. I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would, but I wasn’t exactly thrilled or impressed by it either.
I think the best way I can think to describe Twilight is “Mediocre Fanfiction.” It’s like, what you read when your favorite author isn’t updating and your alternative is something literally unreadable. It’s not good, but it’s not bad either. It’s in the middle and writing wise it’s tolerable. As someone who reads a lot of fanfiction (good, bad and ugly) I can’t really say anything against the writing style without sounding too hypocritical because I’ve read worse for leisure more than I probably should have.
Plot wise, I think “Harlequin for Teenagers” seems appropriate. It’s about 70% Bella describing what Edward looks like (I think she used at least eight words to describe his eye color in the first three chapters alone…) and what he does to her on the inside. Her feelings, how much she loves and adores him, blah blah blah. It’s a ‘guilty pleasure’ at its best. To help things along? It’s written in first person so if you try just a little bit, the name “Bella” can be replaced with your own and it’s like reading your own little love story where the vampire’s in love with you.
While not a huge fan of first person writing in general (when I read fiction I want to read about someone else’s life…not pretend mine is different), it did put how this book got so popular into focus. The teenage girl audience it was aimed at can put themselves in Bella’s shoes and live her life.
Though why they would want to is beyond me. Bella is quite possibly one of the least likable women I’ve ever met. She’s cruel to her father (in the beginning, she improves eventually) for no discernible reason (a description of what exactly he did during his & her mother’s divorce might have been nice to fill that in. Because the man’s a little awkward, but there’s nothing wrong with him from what I could see…), she’s almost falsely modest (she described herself as being plain and blending into the background, yet on her first day of school she gets asked out by at least three guys) to the point where she’s constantly berating herself for being ‘uninteresting,’ and she’s well. She’s dumb as a brick for someone who gets straight A’s in all of her classes and reads Wuthering Heights for fun. She’s also a bit of a drama queen and constantly whining when she doesn’t get her way. Edward has every right to be mean to her half the time. She deserves it. (And she refers to her parents by their names in her head…what kid with a good relationship with her parents does that!?)
And I think this is where it gets into the ‘bad’ area that so many people complain about. 70% of Twilight is tolerable. About 10% is actually interesting and well, good. (Carlisle’s backstory, Alice’s backstory, basically all the Cullens sans Edward.)
The other 20% is just unforgivably awful.
It’s been a while since I stopped reading a book to just stare at it and go “Huh? What? No.” And then I reread the section to confirm that I had read what I read. There is a scene (mind you this is after Edward has displayed feats of super speed, super strength, and lots of cryptic hints about his soul being damned) where Jacob is describing the legends of his lands and he goes on to talk about “The Cold Ones” (Edward has been described as ‘cool’ and ‘cold’ and a million other things that describe his body temperature as being frigid) which should have been a big hint. But then he goes on to literally say “The Cullens are the Cold Ones who made a pact with my grandfather. They’re vampires.” – Now it’s not in those exact words, but he did name the Cullens and he did call them Vampires.
Bella does not put two and two together at this point.
Instead, she goes home and looks up Vampires on the internet. And comes to the conclusion that Edward doesn’t fit any of the characteristics of vampires, except…that he does. Instead, Bella compared him to Superman or Spiderman.
But I digress.
That’s just one of a few scenes that are well. Just bad. Not writing wise, just story and plot wise. It makes no sense and interrupts the story with its absurdness. But what’s worse than that? The good stuff!
Carlisle. Edward talks about his backstory (very, very briefly) and describes him as the son of a minister who instead of mimicking a salem witch hunt and killing innocents, goes to find the real monsters under the city. And you know what? Through careful work he does. And he manages to corner a vampire by himself – but unprepared for his super strength and powers, Carlisle finds himself being bitten. To his luck (or horror) his back up arrives and he’s dropped to the ground while his friends chase down the vampire. Forgotten, the venom flows through his veins and he realizes he’s turning. To save his own life he crawls behind a sack of potatoes and waits out his three day transformation. After that, he tries many, many ways to try and kill himself (and fail) before realizing that animal blood works as well as human to sustaining his life and body. From there, he starts making use of his eternity and meets up with others like himself and eventually gets tired of them trying to turn him over to human blood. Lonely, he gets it in his head that he wants to create a companion that can share his ‘vegetarian’ philosophy. Enter Edward, dying boy with flu.
You see that above paragraph? It’s interesting right? You’d like to know more about Carlisle and his transformation and what he did in more detail? Me too. But you know what? That above paragraph is basically all you get in the story. I’ve counted at least four to five pages of Bella describing Edward in near intolerable amounts of detail, and Carlisle’s entire backstory takes a page and a half. Alice suffers the same fate later on in the book.
It’s a very frustrating book, and I still have three more to go.
Well, any farther and I’ll be mostly repeating what you’ve all read before concerning this book. I’ll admit, it’s got its place in fiction and I can see where the appeal is. I did find myself smiling in parts (when Bella wasn’t describing Edward…) and kinda’ liked it at the end of the day. But before I go – I want to touch up on the movie.
The Movie
I saw the movie before I read the book (I heard that the movie was a fairly true adaption so I figured it was about the same) and afterwards found that the movie did mirror the book fairly well. There were a few minor changes that included Bella remembering who Jacob was (and Jacob not actually telling her the Cullens were vampires, they cut that out thankfully) but not much else I can remember at the moment. Mostly the cutting of her friends backstories. (And Bella getting asked out by like five guys…).
I liked the movie more than the book. Probably because while watching the awful movie, I was laughing. It was so bad it was hilarious – the book didn’t quite fit that description. When the book was bad, it was just bad. At least the movie I could find some joy in my sides hurting.
Plus? I loved the side cast. The Cullen family was amazing, I adored Charlie (Bellas’ dad was amazing) and Jacob Black was one of the best actors in the film. Anyway, in this case the movie > book.
So, I got off work early today and tried to get some errands done. Buy a new purse (as much as I loved my disney donald & daisy purse…it was starting to fall apart…sadly.) mail a package and try and get a tiny dent in my Christmas shopping done.
Well, my Christmas shopping took me to a toy store (because my friends and family like toys as much as I do! Yay!) – Toys R’ Us. And I managed to knock two people off my list.
And well, you know me. Can’t go into a toy section now a days without looking at the Transfomers section (Especially with a 1 in 1000 chance of seeing that exclusive Toys R’ Us Arcee figure). And what did I see? Tons of movie figures (Doesn’t surprise me; the movie figures are kinda ugly…though I did sort of like Barricade). Tons of the younger aged toys (the ones for 5 and under) and the big expensive ones.
Transformers Animated Deluxe? Gone. There was one figure left – Oil Slick.
So I bought it.
I love his Chain Barrel Weapon
It worked out well for me because I liked Oil Slick in his very brief appearance in the show, and of course he invented Cosmic Rust. Which is cool.
His Motor Bike Form Is Cool
And the Ram Head on his bike/arm is way cooler than the Cybertronian looking one from the series. I love the horns.
Well, after securing Oil Slick – I went back to browse the movie figures and realized that most of the somewhat attractive ones were gone (Dead End had promise.) So I resigned myself to leaving the store.
And saw the giant stack of Ultra Magnus & Bulkhead Leader Class figures. And there, wedged between them was a movie deluxe figure. I nearly squealed – It was Bumblebee!!
It took me forever to get him out of car mode. XD I suck.
I’ve never actually caught a Deluxe Bumblebee in a store. Out of all the BayVerse bots, Bumble bee is the only design I actually like. He’s cute, I like his mask and his door-wings are darling.
Anyway. I squee’d and snatched it up. So now you can adore his cute as well:
He is freaking adorable.
I need to stop looking at figures. XD This is getting as bad as my obsession with Gashapon figures…
Recently, thanks to Amazon & Kindle I have acquired all four Twilight books for about $22.
Now, let me set this up for you – I’ve been going back and forth with reading Twilight. On the one hand – it seems like one of those things that seems so horrible you have to read it for yourself to prove it, however I had a bit of an issue:
1) If it was really that bad I didn’t want to pay for it.
2) I felt too guilty just downloading it.
3) I always conveniently forget there’s a library down the street.
So instead, I went to see the first movie instead. (You’ll get a real review of that later…).
It was horrible. But I enjoyed it because it was so bad that I laughed the entire way through (Much the same way I do watching YuGiOh! The Movie). So, I saw the second one for the same reason – and liked it.
Yes. I liked New Moon. It was still bad and had no plot, but it was actually funny when it was trying to be.
Point? I decided – I should read it before I go off about it.
I’m three chapters into book one and…I’ll save it for the first book/movie/combined review. To come!
Wish me luck! Gonna’ need it.
(And yes I realize I’m way behind and Twilight’s been out forever. Blah blah blah I’m slow. XD)
Dark, beautiful, and a feast for the eyes & ears – The Cat Piano is eight minutes you shouldn’t miss.
“Jazz singers. Hip cats that went ‘Scat!’” -From the Poem
The Cat Piano is a short film about jazzy cats and the night lives they lead – until they’re interrupted by a man determined to create a piano fueled by cats. But don’t let the surreal plot fool you; this production has the remarkable ability to draw you in and dive right into their world.
What caught me at first, was the animation – it’s lanky and fluid with beautifully detailed backgrounds. The filmography is impressive and takes angles and lighting to new places. The theme of blue that covers the frames makes those all too beautiful moments of white and bits of color even more impressive.
What kept me riveted to my screen though, was the Poem by Eddie White that is recited throughout the film.
The repetition, the rhyming, the timing and the performance. It’s been a while since I was so enamored with a modern poem. It’s fluid, original and I can taste the words rolling off my tongue.
Pan’s Labyrinth (Or El Laberinto del Fauno). I finally got to see it this weekend (about twenty minutes ago to be exact) and I feel the need to write about it. So there you have it.
Let me start by saying that I really should have enjoyed this movie. I really should have. But – I didn’t. Don’t get me wrong though, there were a lot of good things going on in this movie and there was a lot about the film I enjoyed. So let’s go ahead and start with the spoilers, commentary and all that below the cut:
Now, I’d like to set this up for you all – before the movie, I (being the spoiler lover that I am) read up on the plot summary and was instantly excited because I was promised (finally) some talking scenes with both Megatron and Starscream. Plus, Frank Welker is playing Soundwave and Devastator. How could that possibly go wrong?
However, after that I figured I’d read some reviews to get an idea of what I was in for and see how it was being recieved after it’s opening day.
Almost every single review declared it a horrible travesty. It was attacked for being plotless, boring, full of horrible acting and dialogue, offensive, and without any sort of character development. They hated this film. Review after review declaring it a piece of trash.
I laughed after looking at their complaints and had only one thought: They have never seen the cartoon.
All I could think while watching was – this is classic Transformers. At it’s best. Now, it was not without its faults – the Autobots could have had a little more screen time and one or two sex jokes could have been cut, but more or less it was full of everything that made the Transformers cartoon so great.
Let’s begin.
The Plot
In the reviews, they mentioned that this film barely had a plot and it was hard to follow what was going on. I’m not quite sure where they got this – it was fairly straight forward. The Fallen came to Earth millions thousands of years ago to harvest the sun for Energon and was attacked by his brothers for trying to destroy a planet with life on it. Present day, he’s back for revenge and to try again and create energon. The side plot? Get the Matrix (the key to turning on the big machine that makes energon) before the Fallen does.
This is standard Transformers. Season One of the G1 Cartoon was entirely about Megatron trying to collect energon from various sources on Earth from mining gems, to raiding oil rigs or using electricity. All things considered – using a machine to capture the sun’s energy almost makes more sense than what the cartoon did with pouring oil into a clear box.
I’m not sure what else to say. I guess if you’re not familiar with the original cartoon you may not realize that the hunt for energon is a classic plotline in this franchise.
The Characters
I will admit though, there is something to be said for the lack of Transformers speaking roles. There is a bit too much of humans and not enough Autobots. But, compared to the first film they doubled their screen time so I’m not complaining too much.
Though, I have to clarify that it was the ‘Autobots’ who didn’t get much screentime (Aside from the twins, Skids and Mudflap…they got a little too much. They weren’t as awful as people describe them, but I would have preferred more Bumblebee.) – because the Decepticons got a lot.
Megatron and Starscream had three long scenes together. I nearly wept with joy seeing Megatron strangle Starscream. This is Transformers. This is what the first movie was missing – the Decepticons talking and bickering and Starscream being the groveling suck-up he is. I may be a tad biased considering Starscream has always been my favorite character, but the two of them more than made up for one too many scenes with the twins.
Plus, Simmons returned. I liked him in the first film, and I like seeing him on the good guys side in the second.
The one character I was hesitant about was Jetfire (Also known as Skyfire in G1) because he was being portrayed as a senile old man. Thankfully, I didn’t have to worry. Jetfire was great. He was crazy and lovable and declared his father to be THE wheel. His greatest moment? Hearing there was a Prime on Earth. He got this puppy dog happy look on his face that was just too endearing.
Oh, and Soundwave as a satellite? Much cooler than I anticpated. I blame it all on Frank Welker and his sheer awesomeness.
As for the humans – seriously. What series didn’t have annoying kids that no one liked who had too much screen time? >.>
The Dialogue/Acting
“I’ll take you all on!” – Optimus
Transformers is built on corny, pun-filled dialogue. The fact that they railed on such things as Simmons going “Not on my watch!” makes me shake my head. Again, going back to the source – it’s always been a mix of the awful and the amazing. Optimus is the only person who can get away with saying both “Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing” and “Let’s roll!”
Awful dialogue blended with moving inspirational statements is the blood of this series. I won’t hear a word against it.
Final Thoughts
I loved this film. The action was amazing – Megatron and Starscream had three amazing scenes together – Optimus kicked ass. There were so many things to squeal about.
And Ravage – did I mention Ravage? That cat was made of win. Made. of. Win.
I wish I could remember where it was, but in one review the author commented he couldn’t understand why such advanced robots with such impressive technology were hitting each other with their fists.
Why?
Because they’re Transformers. They’re not mindless fighting machines, they’re people. And most people will tell you there’s a difference between the satisfaction of decking someone with your flesh and blood fist and just shooting them. Optimus knows this well and he is one kick-ass brawler. Let’s face it – Giant Robots beating the crap out of each other with their bare hands rules.
And we all know that Megatron beating on Starscream just wouldn’t be the same if he shot him instead of slapping him upside the head.
Let’s see…I think that’s it. Revenge of the Fallen is a movie that is most appreciated by those who loved the cartoons, the comics and everything that makes Transformers Transformers.
Thomas Schiff (Played by David Dastmalchian) from The Dark Knight wins my vote for best bit part this year. (He’s the guy who was dressed as a cop with the Joker.)
Has two scenes in the entire film, but his short creepy laugh and smile make him really lovable.
I love him. I wish he had more screen time and I finally find myself a big fan of someone with like two minutes of screentime.
Dark, beautiful, and a feast for the eyes & ears – 
