patchwork

Today I saw Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

I loved it.

Now, I’d like to set this up for you all – before the movie, I (being the spoiler lover that I am) read up on the plot summary and was instantly excited because I was promised (finally) some talking scenes with both Megatron and Starscream. Plus, Frank Welker is playing Soundwave and Devastator. How could that possibly go wrong?

However, after that I figured I’d read some reviews to get an idea of what I was in for and see how it was being recieved after it’s opening day.

Almost every single review declared it a horrible travesty. It was attacked for being plotless, boring, full of horrible acting and dialogue, offensive, and without any sort of character development. They hated this film. Review after review declaring it a piece of trash.

I laughed after looking at their complaints and had only one thought: They have never seen the cartoon.

All I could think while watching was – this is classic Transformers. At it’s best. Now, it was not without its faults – the Autobots could have had a little more screen time and one or two sex jokes could have been cut, but more or less it was full of everything that made the Transformers cartoon so great.

Let’s begin.

The Plot

In the reviews, they mentioned that this film barely had a plot and it was hard to follow what was going on. I’m not quite sure where they got this – it was fairly straight forward. The Fallen came to Earth millions thousands of years ago to harvest the sun for Energon and was attacked by his brothers for trying to destroy a planet with life on it. Present day, he’s back for revenge and to try again and create energon. The side plot? Get the Matrix (the key to turning on the big machine that makes energon) before the Fallen does.

This is standard Transformers. Season One of the G1 Cartoon was entirely about Megatron trying to collect energon from various sources on Earth from mining gems, to raiding oil rigs or using electricity. All things considered – using a machine to capture the sun’s energy almost makes more sense than what the cartoon did with pouring oil into a clear box.

I’m not sure what else to say. I guess if you’re not familiar with the original cartoon you may not realize that the hunt for energon is a classic plotline in this franchise.

The Characters

I will admit though, there is something to be said for the lack of Transformers speaking roles. There is a bit too much of humans and not enough Autobots. But, compared to the first film they doubled their screen time so I’m not complaining too much.

Though, I have to clarify that it was the ‘Autobots’ who didn’t get much screentime (Aside from the twins, Skids and Mudflap…they got a little too much. They weren’t as awful as people describe them, but I would have preferred more Bumblebee.) – because the Decepticons got a lot.

Megatron and Starscream had three long scenes together. I nearly wept with joy seeing Megatron strangle Starscream. This is Transformers. This is what the first movie was missing – the Decepticons talking and bickering and Starscream being the groveling suck-up he is. I may be a tad biased considering Starscream has always been my favorite character, but the two of them more than made up for one too many scenes with the twins.

Plus, Simmons returned. I liked him in the first film, and I like seeing him on the good guys side in the second.

The one character I was hesitant about was Jetfire (Also known as Skyfire in G1) because he was being portrayed as a senile old man. Thankfully, I didn’t have to worry. Jetfire was great. He was crazy and lovable and declared his father to be THE wheel. His greatest moment? Hearing there was a Prime on Earth. He got this puppy dog happy look on his face that was just too endearing.

Oh, and Soundwave as a satellite? Much cooler than I anticpated. I blame it all on Frank Welker and his sheer awesomeness.

As for the humans – seriously. What series didn’t have annoying kids that no one liked who had too much screen time? >.>

The Dialogue/Acting

“I’ll take you all on!” – Optimus

Transformers is built on corny, pun-filled dialogue. The fact that they railed on such things as Simmons going “Not on my watch!” makes me shake my head. Again, going back to the source – it’s always been a mix of the awful and the amazing. Optimus is the only person who can get away with saying both  “Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing”  and “Let’s roll!”

Awful dialogue blended with moving inspirational statements is the blood of this series. I won’t hear a word against it.

Final Thoughts

I loved this film. The action was amazing – Megatron and Starscream had three amazing scenes together – Optimus kicked ass. There were so many things to squeal about.

And Ravage – did I mention Ravage? That cat was made of win. Made. of. Win.

I wish I could remember where it was, but in one review the author commented he couldn’t understand why such advanced robots with such impressive technology were hitting each other with their fists.

Why?

Because they’re Transformers. They’re not mindless fighting machines, they’re people. And most people will tell you there’s a difference between the satisfaction of decking someone with your flesh and blood fist and just shooting them. Optimus knows this well and he is one kick-ass brawler. Let’s face it – Giant Robots beating the crap out of each other with their bare hands rules.

And we all know that Megatron beating on Starscream just wouldn’t be the same if he shot him instead of slapping him upside the head.

Let’s see…I think that’s it. Revenge of the Fallen is a movie that is most appreciated by those who loved the cartoons, the comics and everything that makes Transformers Transformers.

I can’t wait for the third one.